I don’t know what it is lately. I’ve been thinking a lot. A lot about what I want out of life. A lot about what I saw for myself as an adult when I was a child. You got a glimpse of that in one of my recent posts. But, I have been thinking a lot recently about what I’m passionate about. Perhaps, I’ve become more of an idealist as I’ve gotten older, maybe it’s because the Olympics are upon us and it revives some of these old feelings of chasing dreams, or maybe watching some really amazing films and seeing the art that others have created has initiated thought and inspired me.
As I continue to wade through childhood memories and thoughts, I’ve come to realize a few things. You see, as a child, I was definitely more of an artist. I think I take after my mom. She performed in a traveling show as a dancer and later as a martial artist. My mother introduced me to tap dancing at 3. I later moved on to ballet and gymnastics and later some ballroom dancing. I think I’m a performer like my mother. My goals have changed some over the years, but they were always big. My mom introduced me to Shirley Temple movies and thought it would have been just so amazing to do what she did.
I also enjoyed sports. I fell in love with gymnastics at an early age. I remember watching Mary Lou Retton’s 1984 Olympic performance and thinking, “I want to do that!!” So, after a lot of coaxing and saving, I pursued my goal of becoming an elite gymnast. I fell short because I ran out of time, so I shifted goals a little. My new goal was to compete in college and I’m so fortunate I got to do that, even if for a short time. Gymnastics is definitely art. It can be just so beautiful and gorgeous to watch.
Recently, I saw this little photo up on one of my friend’s Facebook pages. It really spoke to me because I was petrified to dive into the arts. I remember taking my dad’s camcorder around the age of 8 or so and editing my own little movies and there was something really cool about creating something from your own vision. Bringing to life something you envisioned. But, here’s the thing. I never showed those videos to anyone other than my family. Being an artist is scary. Really scary. It is a very vulnerable position to be in when you put yourself out there. The experience and journey is empowering and powerful, but the moment you release that work of art that you created for others to enjoy can be very unnerving. BUT, I have to say, when I provide a piece of work to someone and it is well received. Man, nothing beats that feeling. Yes, it’s true – it’s art and subject to interpretation, but it’s nice to be appreciated and validated.
There’s something that’s just amazing about art. For me, photography is a tool, a way for someone to see what I see through my eyes. There’s no way to describe what you see. The only way to offer anyone a direct visual perspective to another person is to offer a photograph. A moment in time through the photographer’s eyes. I love when I can help someone see how beautiful they are as in glamour photography or when I get to freeze a moment in time for a family or a parent.
The posted photo above says SO MANY things to me than just a father with his daughter. This photo has an emotional component for me. It depicts a father’s RELATIONSHIP with his daughter — and we all know that a father’s relationship with his daughter is special and difficult to describe. To me, the family portrait isn’t a group of people sitting together and looking at the camera. The family portrait is capturing a moment in their lives (where they happened to have dressed a little nice possibly).
This image embedded above is another image that puts a smile on my face and really says family portrait to me.
I’m not certain what possessed me to get so personal on the blog today, but I did. Eh, oh well, now you know a little more about me, right? I suppose maybe I write these random posts to keep me going. To keep me focused on goals and to remind me to continue to find myself as an artist. I had a little dream when I was a child. It was to be an artist. To create. I believe in dreaming big – I hope that one day I could take my skill over to film and television. In time, I hope to share more of my goals, dreams, passion, and my art with you, but for right now, I’ll continue to build my dream bigger! Thanks for participating in the dream with me! Maybe next time, you’ll share your dream with me!